New vegan brand Beyond Baby will debut its product line—touted as “the only ethical, consumer-ready, animal-based dairy on the market”—this week at select Costco stores.
Barbara McHannan and Denise Gool founded the brand after realizing how absurd it is for humans to consume dairy sourced from non-human animals such as cows, goats, and camels.
“If people want to continue drinking milk into adulthood, it should come from the only animal capable of consenting to the use of her mammary secretions,” McHannan said.
“Our product lines are baby-approved, taste great, and come from women willing to be milked for profit.” To create its distinctive products, Beyond Baby sources milk from women who have been vegan for at least five years and who are attempting to wean their babies off of breastmilk.
Its cheese line, Titeese, is available in four flavors:
Baby Bleu, Fluffy Ricotta, Gran’s Aged Cheddar, and Picante, while the Boob Tube line of squeezable yogurts (perfect for school lunches) features Mango Melons, Bubblegum, and Dulce de Madre varieties.
The company is also testing Double D Dippin’ Dots—a line of ice cream in flavors such as Cha Chas Chai, Nipplepoletan, and coffee-infused Jittery Jugs.
“We encourage our suppliers to pump their milk in public,” Gool said, adding that “human women’s nipples are not any more sexual than those of cows and goats, whose breasts are always exposed on dairy farms.”
Given the widespread popularity of dairy alternatives, Beyond Baby was able to secure $20 million in venture capital funding,
which McHannan and Gool plan to use to expand their existing lines and, eventually, to introduce “Milf Shakes”—breast milk-based milkshakes blended with vegan ice cream and topped with “NipWip” whipped cream—at Dairy Queen locations nationwide.
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